"Just because we are magic, doesn't mean we aren't real." Jesse Williams
Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Erhunse on Unsplash
DUALITY: An instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something.
Originally Posted: June 13, 2020, following the tragic murder of George Floyd.
Revised and Republished: November 8, 2024 following the presidential election.
How are you? If I am being honest, I am HATING that question right now. I'm pissed. I'm discouraged. I am disappointed. I am saddened. BUT sadly, I am not surprised. A small part of me already anticipated this outcome. Like many of us, I know what it feels like to be dealt a gut punch, and still get up the next day and show up for the things in life we still have control over. What allows me to still show up? Gratitude. Hope. Optimism. Strength. Resilience.
This is duality.
"I always revisit duality because I think it's a conflict we all have. I think we all leave our house and go to work, and we put on the cape and become superheroes. That's what we do. It's how we move through life and handle negativity: you do everything you can to stay away from it."
Big K.R.I.T
"Now what?"
Many of us are battling some incredibly challenging emotions, but emotions that don’t just show up singular in focus. Our emotions battle for spotlight, we wrestle with how to feel, and in that juxtaposition, we find ourselves straddled in a state of duality. I'm not interested in putting all of my full disgust on display, nor am I willing to pretend it is not there. I choose to get up every day and lead with optimism and hope, but that does not negate the disappointment that swirls within. Contrary to what we want to believe, it is VERY possible to be both grateful and depressed, angry AND hopeful, excited for the day ahead, yet anxious about what the future holds. Right now, post election, the presence of these opposing emotional experiences is off the charts. I literally show up to my coaching sessions and yoga classes full of gratitude for the opportunity to connect, feeling alive and inspired, and genuinely happy for those moments. But behind all that, not too far below the surface is sadness, frustration and discontent. How can I do more? What’s my role in all this? How do I show up true to self, but still able to effect change? I believe it is important to make space for both. That may involve internal reflection our external processing. But create space, set aside time, and invite discovery to feel it all. At least then we can answer the question "now what" with more clarity and a lot more intention.
Go below the surface
Trying to suppress what we feel is where descension happens, but OPENING ourselves to the FULL RANGE of emotions is where discovery starts, fulfillment develops, and emotional wholeness happens. This post should have been ready yesterday, but my head wasn’t in the right place. Rather than resisting the emotions that I felt bubbling under the surface I have instead found myself diving deeper in to explore them. Behind the heartfelt smiles I also embrace and acknowledge the heartache. Pretending to live in one state of emotion while the rest of those emotions are left to chart their own course is not only unhelpful, but damaging. This is the time to explore it all. What’s making you happy, what are you grateful for? Where’s the hurt, and how might you sense into it deeper so that you can respond to that part of your experience too? If we want to make a difference in this world, it starts from within. And we need to show up as our whole selves in order to face the reality of the world around us. In all this, through all the struggle, I send you peace, prosperity, and love.
Check out this article from the APA for various resources for managing stress during election season.
Reminder - Boundaries are a form of self care too! Join us Saturday Nov. 9th.
Namaste…
Tian
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